The Apprentice Idiots

I watched an edition of The Apprentice last night, after missing the first show last week. I’ve been a fan of the show since the first series, and I used to think it was something that all aspiring entrepreneurs should watch. But now I’m not so sure. I think it could give them a false sense of security. 

You see, in the first series, they had candidates who could be described as normal. They approached tasks in a rational (if sometimes misguided) way, and most of them treated the others with something approaching respect. Most had ability.  

Good for reality ~ but not so good for reality TV.  

The producers ~ realising that the biggest untapped audience will come from people filling in time before the next series of Big Brother, rather than entrepreneurs ~ have clearly decided that conflict and eccentricity are what ‘sells’. And so they’ve filled the show this time with a collection of characters who make for great entertainment, but who I wouldn’t employ if they worked for free.  

There’s the ultra-alpha male, the toff, the superbitch, the emotional wreck, the David Brent clone…Get the idea? The end result is great entertainment, and even the least business-savvy viewer gets to believe that they could probably do better than that – which they probably could. 

If you didn’t see the show, let me give you a little test. At short notice, you have to pitch to a hotel to do their laundry for an evening, and need to quote a price. Do you:  

a) Ring an established service to get a feel for market prices and then base your price on theirs? 

Or… 

b) Pluck a price from thin air in the car on the way to the meeting?  

If you answered ‘b’, you should almost certainly be killed, but you’d fit in well with the women’s team. Because that’s precisely what they did ~ they just guessed. But worse that that, the figure they chose was £4.95 per item laundered, which is about 25 times more expensive than the going rate! 

Now anyone who was more concerned with common sense and effective action, rather than strategy meetings, brainstorming, synergy, customer interfaces and the myriad of other corporate crap that these people seem to be able to regurgitate on tap, would have realised two things.

Firstly, that guessing a price in a market you know nothing about is moronic. Secondly, that guessing a figure that is more than the item would cost to replace, just has to be wrong. A child could work that one out.

The fact that one person came up with this plan was bad enough ~ but when all her team mates were so devoid of any common sense that they went along with it…well that’s really worrying. 

So watch The Apprentice for the entertainment, but don’t be fooled by the notion that these people are the ‘cream of young British business talent’, and you could do better. You almost certainly could do better, but doing better than someone who, but for their over-inflated ego and comedy value, would most likely find themselves employed flogging double glazing or toting time-share, is no great achievement. 

For some real business insight, watch Dragon’s Den. There are some numpties there too, but at least you get to see them sweat.  

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 Kind Regards 

John Harrison  

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John Harrison

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www.streetwisenews.com/vince