Successful people generally have specific personality traits.
At first read, that looks like I’m saying that successful people are born which also means that they, and only they, can be successful.
Well, that is not quite correct.
It is partially true that some successful people are born with these ‘success traits’, but these traits can be learned by anyone… and they can also be faked.
I got thinking about this the other day when overhearing a conversation (yes, I’ve been at it again) between a young woman and her mother.
The young woman was telling her mother how she wanted to go out for a coffee on her own and wanted to take her dog too.
She wanted to make it part of her dog walk for that day and instead of grabbing a take-away coffee and sitting on a park bench in the cold, she wanted to go in-store and sit down in a comfortable chair to enjoy it.
There are a couple of places that allow customers to take their dogs in with them as long as they are controlled. She could have taken herself and her dog to one of them, but she didn’t… because she felt ‘silly’ going in on her own.
She then began to tell her mother how she didn’t want anyone she knew seeing her.
She didn’t want to have to strike up conversation with people and didn’t want people ‘judging’ her for taking her dog into a coffee shop… a dog-friendly coffee shop I may add!
As I am sure you can imagine, she didn’t go into the coffee shop with her pet pooch and still ‘wants’ to enjoy that experience.
I don’t know much about this woman other than she is too afraid to take her dog into a dog-friendly coffee shop to enjoy a coffee, but I can imagine that this is a behaviour that is played out in other areas of her life.
She was afraid that she would be judged and that she would feel silly.
This is not the behaviour of someone who I expect will be successful in life.
Again, I don’t know her, and the definition of success is different from person to person, plus some people excel in one area of life and can be terrible in another so she may be super confident in other areas of her life… but allowing fear and anxiety to stop you doing something you want to do, does not lead to success.
This woman allowed her thoughts and fears of what ‘other people’ would think and do to stop her doing something she clearly wanted to enjoy.
Successful people don’t care what other people think.
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They most certainly don’t allow other people’s thoughts and opinions to stop them doing what they want to do.
They have a strong ‘couldn’t care less’ attitude when it comes to other people.
That’s not to say that they are not nice people and don’t care about others, they simply don’t care what other people think about them or what they do, especially not strangers.
Allowing yourself to be prevented from doing what you want to do by the ‘possible’ negative thoughts and opinions from other people, is simply madness.
This is what people call ‘projection’.
Fearing that other people may think a certain way about you when you have no idea what those people will actually think, is nothing more than projecting your fears onto the behaviour of others.
Firstly, most people don’t care what other people do unless it interferes with their own plans or enjoyment.
Secondly, most people are too wrapped up in their own worlds to really care about yours.
Thirdly, being judged negatively by other people has no actual physical or emotional affect on your life, unless you let it.
And finally… you can ignore those fears and thoughts and push through them.
It’s your life, what has it got to do with anyone else?
Some successful people may be born where they don’t feel any anxiety or fear of judgement, but other successful people do, they just don’t allow it to stop them.
Courage and bravery is not about the absence of fear, it is the doing something despite the fear.
You can learn to accept that you feel fear and anxiety and you can simply choose to ignore it and push through it.
Many successful and brave people do because their desire for success and money is greater than the fear itself. They don’t want it to stop them from achieving their goals.
Susan Jeffers built a successful career as an author selling a series of books titled ‘Fear The Fear, And Do It Anyway!’
She suggests that people should simply understand that they will always feel fear when they do something new and that it is in fact nothing to fear.
As the saying goes…
‘There is nothing to fear but fear itself.’
OK, that isn’t always true, there are dangerous people, places, and situations which are best avoided should you ever be faced with them, but on the whole, most fears people have which hold them back are generally unfounded and not real.
They are nothing more than thoughts in their own heads.
The feeling of fear may be uncomfortable, but it doesn’t feel as bad as regret.
It certainly is a lot shorter lasting than the feeling of regret which can haunt a person for a lifetime.
Another favourite saying of mine is…
‘Know Thyself!’
For me this is all about understanding who you are as a person, and as a human being.
You must know how you ‘tick’ and how your body works.
Knowing that fear is an ancient biological mechanism designed to protect a person and is often triggered when you do something new, you know that most situations in life today are not as dangerous as coming face-to-face with a sabre toothed tiger or a huge woolly mammoth.
Yes, you will fear scared, and yes, it may feel uncomfortable (the intensity of the feeling can vary between people) but it won’t kill you.
And once you have done the ‘scary’ thing for a few minutes or for a few times, your perception and feelings of that situation will change and you will feel more comfortable doing it.
It is no longer something new and potentially dangerous, it is something that you know and have done before.
Fear is often triggered when we do something that we don’t know much about. We don’t know what the outcome will be.
Once we know what that outcome is, it is no longer something to fear… for most people that is.
There are some people who really do suffer with social anxieties and they can really struggle. There may be a biological reason at fault here. Their bodies may produce too much or too little of specific hormones or neurotransmitters.
For those people, ignoring these feelings and faking a ‘couldn’t care less’ attitude may be harder… but that’s not to say they can’t do it.
For those who want financial success that doesn’t require being in the public light and shouldn’t create too much fear and anxiety in them, they should consider borrowing confidence from James Bond and try their hand at online Baccarat.
Dan Crozier decided to see if there was a way to make money online playing Baccarat after watching the James Bond classic ‘Dr No’.
He discovered that there was.
Baccarat is a very simple game with very clear and simple rules. It’s actually way easier to understand and play than Blackjack and Roulette. But you don’t have to actually understand it at all to make money from it!
Discover more here:
Unleash Your Inner James Bond From The Comfort Of Your Sofa!
Kind regards
John Harrison.
PS… There is a reason online casinos don’t push this game like Slots or Roulette, and that is because players have a greater chance of winning against the house when they play Baccarat.
Online casinos cannot make much money with Baccarat… players can.
Here’s that link again.